Sometimes some of our most deepest and painful memories can only be accessed through divine support. The following is my story of such an experience and what a wonderful transformational lesson I received in the process. From my heart to yours!
My first memories in life were of my dreams. One was a repetitive nightmare where I was lying in my crib crying. My mother entered the room, yelling at me, as she approached. I didn’t know how to escape her menacing presence, so I began to dissolve into a world of sound which enveloped me in a yellow orb of light. The sound overwhelmed my senses, as I became smaller and smaller, until I completely disappeared.
I’ve spent the majority of my life attempting to recapture this wounded part of myself. She was so frightened and emotionally injured, that she did not want to come back from her invisible world. But then on Easter, seeking a deeper relationship with Source through prayer and meditation, an Easter Bunny appeared. Surprised by the vision, I asked the rabbit if it had a message for me. It responded: “Let go of Everything!” As I followed this advice, I felt myself surrender into the void of nothingness.
As this occurred, the Easter Bunny leaped into the cosmos on three arcs of stardust (portending a forthcoming blessing) and turned into a beautiful dragon. Then, miraculously, my injured little girl reappeared before me. She tried to stand up on her little feet, but fell down. She got up again and managed to wobbily keep her balance. I was so overjoyed to retrieve my inner child, that we cried in each other’s arms in joyful reunion. After visiting with her for awhile, I told her I would frequent with her again, soon.
But life moved me into the fast lane and I did not revisit her. I had another dream where she was having a crying tantrum because I was not giving her any attention. In fact, keeping myself busy was my unconscious way of avoiding her. Avoiding her kept me from facing all the ways I wasn’t honoring her in my life. To be honest, I never learned how to nurture this part of myself. I quickly discovered it was now my responsibility to be the loving parents she ardently wanted. What? That is exactly why I never had children, because I knew I wouldn’t know how to emotionally take care of them.
Seeking guidance from Divine Mother Sophia, the greatest Mother of All, I am now seeing “The Way” to care for her and taking the time to reacquaint myself with the innocence and vulnerability that she represents. I realized that until I FULLY reclaim ALL of myself, I can never achieve my soul purpose for BEing.
The missing peace, for each of us, is in reclaiming the divine innocence we were born with and have never lost. It’s just waiting for our sincere beckoning to resurrect itself back into our heart and soul. It’s the guiding light that can carry us on wings of glory to the authenticity we so fervently desire.
Truthfully, the only way to change the world is to change ourselves, for lasting change always begins from within, never from without.